Respect – How does it work?

Has anybody ever simply expected respect from you based on their position, social standing or professional appointment?

Have you been able to maintain this respect?



Respect denotes a positive feeling of esteem or deference for a person or other entity, and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem. Respect can be a specific feeling of regard for the actual qualities of the one respected. It can also be conduct in accord with a specific ethic of respect. Rude conduct is usually considered to indicate a lack of respect, disrespect, whereas actions that honour somebody or something indicate respect. Specific ethics of respect are of fundamental importance to various cultures. Respect for tradition and legitimate authority is identified by Jonathan Haidt as one of five fundamental moral values shared to a greater or lesser degree by different societies and individuals. – Wikipedia

The problem with respect is that it is in essence an emotion, a feeling which is based upon the sum of experiences collected with regards to a certain person, group or even idea (religion, race, nationality, organisation, etc.).

Principle 1 – Fluctuation

Respect is a pliable and adaptable thing. It will change and can be variable on a day to day basis, but one has to concede that there exists a range in which this feeling will exist. It will fluctuate slightly in the short term but if an overall trend is measured the “average” feeling can be measured and observed.

It is therefore possible to experience your respect for someone increasing over a period of time, but that person will not be able to improve or cause significant long term improvement or damage with a singular event. It is only possible to change the trend with repeated exposures going a certain way.


Flux and Trend

Flux and Trend

Remember is that it will be the resulting effect of multiple exposures that will determine how the “graph” will end up. Simple math then shows that if one had four positive experiences and three negative experiences, (4-3=1) the result would be a positive one to the overall system for a given period of time.

Principle 2 – Flow

There are a few concepts to understand under flow:

  • Self-respect is the absolute measure and forms the basis of any other form of respect. – This means that you cannot expect to respect anybody more than you respect yourself. This could be disputed by many, but there is a simple rule – If you don’t know how to respect yourself to a certain level, how would you be able to respect someone or something else to a “higher” level?
  • Respect is a two-way street – You will have to receive some respect to be able to generate some of your own in return. The opposite is also true, where you cannot sustain respect for someone who does not show respect in return.
  • The resulting respect “answer” is the average of the two elements mentioned above. The respect that you will be able to show someone will take all the respect that you have for yourself and all the respect that they exhibit towards you, add them up and then divide it by half. (Obviously this will be reduced to the maximum value that you have for yourself in the case where this answer exceeds the amount you respect yourself.


The Cycle

The Cycle

Soo… we know the fundamentals, we understand how this works – So what can we do about it?





Principle 3 – Perception

Because it is an emotion, how you perceive any form of respect is the REAL value.

If you feel neglected, positively charged or indifferent towards a certain person or entity, you can evaluate the perception critically AND CHANGE it…






Probably the most important thing that any person can do with regards to any form of respect revolves around self-respect.

Here is what you do:

Step 1

  • Believe that you are worthy
    of your own respect
  • Open yourself to accept personal positive inputs
  • Filter the inputs and your perceptions and exaggerate the input values (it is only a perception and you do it anyway…)
  • Reinforce, repeat, replicate… OVER AND OVER

Step 2

  • Give others respect (even when they don’t deserve it)
  • Give some more…

Step 3

  • Accept any respect you get in return
  • Read step 1 again…

I will give you a written guarantee that any improvement in your self-respect will improve the rest of your life.


Written Guarantee

Written Guarantee

Please comment and share… It is good stuff and it is free…

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