Love – Unconditional – Really?

A friend of mine on Facebook asked it unconditional love is really possible. (Me on FB).

There were interesting opinions and discussion on what it means, can we do it, can we sustain it, is it even possible……

So what can this elusive thing be then? How do we define it and how will we recognise it when we see it? What does it taste like, is it a feeling, thought….?

WikipediaUnconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of the loved one’s qualities or actions. The paradigm of unconditional love is a mother’s love for her new-born. Unconditional love is often used to describe the love in an idealized romantic relationship. It may sometimes also be used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships.

From Edith Stauffer’s book, “Unconditional Love and Forgiveness”.

Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and an act of will. It is not a feeling or an emotional reaction. Think of the difference between falling in love, and growing in love through all difficulties and conflicts. Unconditional love is an act of mental and spiritual will; it cannot and does not take place upon the emotional level, which is where the problems first register. Unconditional love is extending oneself in the service of the spiritual growth of oneself and/or another, independently of reward or the behaviour of others.

So in general when we declare our undying, boundless and unconditional love – it looks like this!



But in reality – true unconditional love looks more like this….



Just Love

Just Love






So how do I make sure that I have this elusive thing?


  • Can I separate between the person and his/her actions? (Can I still love even if I hate something they do?)
  • Does it escape time? (Maturity, age or other relative differences do not matter.)
  • Does it transcend behaviour? (BAD and I mean BAD can be forgiven, overlooked or ignored.)
  • Does it overcome emotion? (Pride, joy, disappointment, shock, anger.)
  • Does it surpass your environment? (Rich, poor, have, have not, can and cannot.)
  • Does it improve YOU? (Requires of you to step up, beyond and over boundaries that you, your society, religion and frame of reference requires?)

From this simple little test, we see that we are talking about something quite extraordinary here. It requires a SIGNIFICANT investment from someone to be truly and committedly unconditional in their love for someone else.

In his book – Only Love is RealDr. Brian L. Weiss, M.D. states that he has empirical evidence that unconditional love is so strong that it transcends life itself. He has devoted his life to the study of people having lived multiple lives and has found in his research that some people return to one another in life-time after life-time.

I’m in no position to comment about this, however I have experienced this from both sides – I am fortunate to be loved unconditionally by my mother and I love my children without any boundary whatsoever.

It is strangely empowering and disarming at the same time.


So is it possible? – YES!

What does it look like? – Nothing (you cannot tell as it is not emotively based.)

Can you share it with anybody? – Yes and No; it is possible to share with anybody, but the commitment required is significant.

What is the absolute top of unconditional love?

If you can expend the energy, commitment, effort and dedication required to love yourself unconditionally, then….

Please share this with your friends, loved ones, family and other people. It is free and written with softness and care hoping to enhance your life, your experience and your viewpoint.

Leave a comment, I will read it I promise.

Much love and warmth….


2 thoughts on “Love – Unconditional – Really?

  1. This is very interesting post…I am just alittle confused on some of it….so can we love someone unconditinally and still move on and have a life with someone else, that may love me unconditionally. I understand the part about loving them unconditionally, and what if they don’t love me unconditionally. I can love myself unconditionally, I can’t force someone else to love me unconditionally. I guess my concern is how will this affect the ones that do love me unconditionally, and they see my unconditionally love for one that doesn’t have a unconditional love for me. seems tangled to me. I definitely get the importance of unconditional love for ourselves, that resonate with me, it is how to love someone else unconditionally if they don’t love me unconditionally???

    • Hi Nancy,

      Nice to hear from you again; wow, lots of questions but it is unfortunately not a guaranteed two-way street.

      That said, to be unconditional, there should be no requirement from your part that the other party reciprocates. A baby (as used in the example) is incapable of unconditional love, it is however unconditionally dependant.

      It is a curse and a blessing, all tangled up and both the easiest and the most difficult thing you may ever do. But that is what makes it so special.

      I hope this answers some of your questions…

      Have a Happy Day
      🙂 Anton

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