Finding Yourself


One of my friends stated in an e-mail to me that the current situation is “Rock Bottom”. What was of a bigger concern was that this person started looking at life from a perspective of how to cope with the circumstances rather than how to change it.


This is an extract (Verbatim) of my response.

I would like to encourage you to try and determine what it is that you WANT out of this life. Find out what you NEED without reserve or boundary. It is only when you know these two things (separated from one another) that you can start living.

Please understand that it is only when you know where you want to go that you can figure out how to get there. If you do not have a destination you are driving around a parking lot; there is movement but no progress.

I am trying to supply you this with the utmost of care and with a delicate heart.

I have learnt to trust your capability to do this. You are an immensely capable being, able to surpass your own expectations.

The key to unlocking this incredible power resides in finding the person that is YOU.

The only way I know that works to finding you is to find where you need to go.

History does not make the person – current actions and focussed future intent makes a person.

Definitions: (

A need is something that is necessary for organisms to live a healthy life. Needs are distinguished from wants because a deficiency would cause a clear negative outcome, such as dysfunction or death. Needs can be objective and physical, such as food, or they can be subjective and psychological, such as the need for self-esteem. On a societal level, needs are sometimes controversial. Understanding needs and wants is an issue in the fields of politics, social science, and philosophy.

In secular societies want might be considered similar to the emotion desire.

Desire is a sense of longing for a person or object or hoping for an outcome. Desire is the fire that sets action aflame. The same sense is expressed by emotions such as “craving” or “hankering”. When a person desires something or someone, their sense of longing is excited by the enjoyment or the thought of the item or person, and they want to take actions to obtain their goal.


From the definitions it would seem that needs are the building blocks of happiness. It is the stuff we all “have to have” to progress from survival (Maslow – Physiological) to a complete, well-adjusted and successful (Self-Actualised) person. However we need motivation to get there. This motivation stems from a desire that can be seen as dissatisfaction with our current environment. But that is not the entire story; desire motivation requires one more solid thing – GOAL.


Maslow - Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow - Hierarchy of Needs



The definition of a goal is a critical component in the process of “finding yourself”. It is through the determination of goals, and the identification of the actions needed to achieve these goals that we as humans “discover” who we really are. We seem to be designed for growth, change and achievement (Physically, spiritually and mentally).

We change states from living to existing the moment we loose goals.

Therefore to be able to claim life (and not existence) you have to understand what this really means – History does not make the person – current actions and focussed future intent makes a person.

YOU are defined by your actions and intent.

Intent and action are products of goals. Goals are created when you have the combination of NEED and WANT applied to a specific area of your life. To get here (needs and wants) you have to measure your current situation against one that would be more beneficial to you (make you happier).

So instead of running in circles, bumping into yourself and getting all emotional; just sit down……

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” by Marianne Williamson or Visit

Have blessings follow you on this journey.


5 thoughts on “Finding Yourself

  1. Pingback: Breaking the mould – Discover your future… « Anton van den Berg – Blog

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