Thanks to the numerous discussions and comments the original article (Love – what do you think it is?) as well as the follow-up (Management – Do you need Love, Care and Trust?) have compelled me to write this.
Due to the fact that the LinkedIn people got stuck into this with a vengeance, the general direction of the original article has changed somewhat. It has moves to a more “professional view of love, where does it fit and is there room for it at the workplace.
I personally prefer discussions to pure comments – it compels you to react to the environment and forces you to THINK (Yeah I know it hurts).
Where does it belong?
In one of these discussions that I have mentioned the most interesting statement was made – “People need management – but only one kind – Personal or Self Management. This is the stuff our parents and grandparents tried to teach us – The value of integrity, honesty, trust and love i.e. to be decent.”
We all like to bend the old saying – “Do onto others as you would like them to do onto you.”– My favourite – “Do unto others before they can do unto you.”
But I have come to a realisation that the principle is – “Do onto yourself before you do others as you would like them to do onto you.”
This brings me back to a theory:
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: one cannot reach self-actualization without meeting basic needs
(Very Short Summation of theory) – What a man can be, he must be. This level of need pertains to what a person’s full potential is and realizing that potential. Maslow describes this desire as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming. (Many criticisms have been raised against this theory, but few groundbreaking theories don’t have these.)
If this theory is true in even the slightest margin, I understand that it means the following – If I am personally involved (in a number of facets of my life) and interact on the “Safety” level, it is near impossible for me to interact with others on the “Love\Belonging” level. Seems simple enough-
Well not really as an example – The boss is financially more secure than his assistant but the assistant may have a vibrant and satisfying family life which the boss doesn’t have – it gets messy real quick as you can see. If the assistant (in the example) is aware of his “lead”, he can react to his boss in an understanding manner. (Simplistic but understandable I hope.)
Personal values and Personal Management now becomes something of substance.
If we then allow ourselves to do onto yourself before you do others as you would like them to do onto you, then we experience the positive return not only from personal acknowledgements (pat yourself on the back) but you will experience positive feedback from the people around you too. This seems to me like a win-win situation.
Funny thing – it is not limited to any organisational structure. It is simple if you are kind and behave in a decent manner you will be rewarded in kind. (What you sow – Chapter in “The Management Imperative”.)
So it is true – You have to love yourself before you can love others and you have to help yourself before you can help others (Please help us, to help you to help yourself and eventually others – Slogan – FutureTrust)
If you are like me and prefer discussions to comments visit the forum at FutureTrust. The forum has the advantage that it allows people from different social networks to interact freely. Log into the FutureTrust Forum using any of these:
If you enjoyed the conversation and you like exploring life-principles please look at my book The Management Imperative.
Have a fantastic day….