Management – Do you need Love, Care and Trust?

Wow, the previous post got us rocking!!!!!! (This is a follow-up on this so for this post to make sense, please read the previous post.)

I have to admit that I was a bit daring when I posted it. Most of the areas where I asked people to comment on it resided within formal management disciplines. They were not happy.

I was attempting to establish that love (more accurately caring combined with trust) is an essential requirement to interact other human beings around you.

Most of the responses honed in on the unconditional requirement to truly experience and extend love, and instinctively eliminated lust and attraction in favour attachment.

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Inter-personal management (relationships) do not have to contain any one of these specific or notorious type casts (the pictures) to be unsatisfying or undesirable.

If we evaluate any relationship we will notice that the absence of TRUST causes significant problems. One of the first symptoms that I have observed is that the un-trusted (untrustworthy) person(s) is under-estimated, under-valued and socially ousted. This has significant negative effects on the “recipient” of the treatment. [Please leave comments with other examples]

When CARE is not available in abundance to the people around us, they become dehumanized as their time, external commitments and responsibilities become less important. For some reason they are not deemed to hold the same station in life as the person that lacks care. [Please leave comments with examples]

I have found this to be upside down or inside out, as the person that lacks (does not have) love, trust, attachment, care is not the one that suffers.

Now for the harsh one – LOVE.

Where can we “allow” love to enter into our lives? Can we love our friends, extended family, team mates, colleagues, class mates, bosses, assistants – what about your neighbour (or his wife).

How far does it extend?

What is acceptable?

In my mind the real answer is not simple.

Charity begins at home.

Any person can only extend love, trust, care, affection and intimacy in an equal measure to that he/she holds or has for themselves.

But what do we do when someone treats us in an inappropriate or unacceptable manner?

Are we indirectly responsible for how people treat us?


One of the most interesting things I have encountered in the last few months revolves around communication. Did you know that less than 10% of inter person communication occurs verbally? So here is your challenge…..

Show everybody around you what it means to be loving, caring, trusting and empathetic. If you absolutely must and only as a last resort, you can use words too.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions” – Dali Lama

Remember I love you…..

Please comment on this……

The Management Imperative

The Management Imperative

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5 thoughts on “Management – Do you need Love, Care and Trust?

  1. Love absolutely has a place in management (as do care and trust, especially as components of love).

    If one accepts what Scott Peck says, that love is “…the willingness to extend oneself to nurture one’s own, or another’s, spiritual well-being,” then it follows that an effective way to develop cohesive teams is to create a culture of love.

    This definition assumes, of course that love is NOT an emotion, but rather an attitude, or even more specifically, a way of living. And if one applies the definition to all interactions, one automatically endeavors to promote the well-being of others, whether the others are employees, peers, vendors, customers, shareholders or the general public.

    Based on some of the comments from your love article, most folks only see the emotional “result” of a certain type type or application of love, but love is a powerful guiding principle for the formation of virtually any union, whether it’s a union of a man and a woman, a union of a population of a community, a friendship, an organization, or even a company.

    There are plenty of management styles that achieve financial or organizational goals without love. But the real test of such applications is whether people would want to work for those managements if all other factors were equal.

    In organizations, there is often a need to remove, eliminate or discipline team members who are not behaving in a way that supports the whole (like firing the guy who steals Post-It Notes™). But under the objective definition of love, firing such a person would serve to nurture his spiritual well-being, for it would reinforce that such behavior is destructive, and it would serve as a corrective marker that he could use to better himself.

    So love, in its truest sense, is the glue that holds humanity together, holds us accountable to each other, and binds us in common purpose. With love, there is little reason to exert “control” or manipulate people through rewards and punishments, fear, intimidation or dishonesty.

    Is it possible to hold love as the guiding principle in a large organization? It’s certainly difficult. But any organization that puts love first in their brand behavior is likely to function well in the long term.

    And thank you for the topic. I am in the process of growing my firm and appreciate being reminded of this foundation principle as I make policy decisions and select new team members and partners.

  2. Tim,

    Thank you for the kind words. This series of posts has been popular, but came at a cost.

    I hope that we would be able to “spread the word” far and wide – we need true love in our lives – everywhere we go.

  3. LinkedIn Group: Self-Actualization – Actualizing Your Best and Highest Self

    A study I read a long time ago pointed out that the high achievers seemed as a general rule to have at least one parent who encouraged their actions and thoughts as they grew up. The geniuses had super support from their parents. This indicates to me that we do our best work when we have a supportive group around us. Fear of criticism, rejection, and back-stabbing makes us all guarded, closed, and not willing to risk. Obviously, love, care and trust are the components of a good support system.
    You’ve read about all the current problems, both financial and legal, at one of the successful, great computer companies in the US? Since they are a former client, I think it best not to name them. I worked with their employees some years ago for 5 years, and found that an atmosphere of “who’s to blame?” was the prevailing fog over every discussion, business meeting and decision. The employees (management and bottom level both) had to know at each moment who to blame if something went wrong. No one felt safe. This took a lot of their energy away from their work.

    I designed a one day seminar with the goal of demonstrating that business decisions at every level were risky, and that people, by and large, want to do their best at a job, but they turned this idea down. I was hoping to replace distrust with trust or at least, let’s-find-the-solution-if-this-one-doesn’t-solve-the-problem. An atmosphere of caring and trust that each person was doing their job the best way they knew how could have improved this corporation’s bottom line, and maybe averted some of their present problems. You can never function at your peak with distrust around you.

    Posted by Genie Z. Laborde PhD

  4. Pingback: Why – The practical side of Motivation. « Anton van den Berg – Blog

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